23 Tommy Cooper Quotes To Make Your Day Awesome

Tommy Cooper is known also as Thomas Frederick Cooper was a famous Welsh pop comedian and magician. He lived till the age of sixty-three. He got his first break in 1947 in a band called The Jackdaws. More than a magician, he prospered in the field of television. In the 1970s, he did many television shows and became one of the most recognizable comedians in the world. He was considered the best man in his work. Cooper has been honored with a statue in his birthplace of Caerphilly, Wales which was inaugurated in 2008. The artist died due to a heart attack in front of millions of television viewers, midway through his act on the London Weekend Television variety show Live from Her Majesty’s. His famous TV shows are The Tommy Cooper Hour, The Plank. Here are the best Tommy Cooper quotes to make your day awesome.

1. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any. – Tommy Cooper

2. A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too hot. – Tommy Cooper

3. I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, ‘Have you got frog’s legs?’ He said, ‘Yes,’ so I said, ‘Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.’ – Tommy Cooper

4. You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ – Tommy Cooper

5. So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘I’m not stopping you.’ – Tommy Cooper

6. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. – Tommy Cooper

7. It’s strange, isn’t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh’ and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. – Tommy Cooper

8. A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: ‘Can I help, sir?’ ‘No thanks,’ says the blind bloke. ‘Just looking.’ – Tommy Cooper

Also Read24 Garrison Keillor Quotes To Make Your Day Awesome

9. I went window shopping today! I bought four windows. – Tommy Cooper

10. I’m on a whisky diet. I’ve lost 3 days already. – Tommy Cooper

11. I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten-pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone. – Tommy Cooper

12. I had a ploughman’s lunch the other day. He wasn’t very happy. – Tommy Cooper

13. My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds. – Tommy Cooper

14. A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar. – Tommy Cooper

15. I went to the dentist. He said “Say Aaah.” I said “Why?” He said “My dog’s died.” – Tommy Cooper

16. He said ‘I’m going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, “That’s a turn-up for the books”. – Tommy Cooper

17. And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said ‘Do you earn a living doing that?’ He said ‘Yes, this my livelihood.’ – Tommy Cooper

18. Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet – it was a marriage of convenience! – Tommy Cooper

19. I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter. – Tommy Cooper

20. I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure. – Tommy Cooper

21. A woman tells her doctor, ‘I’ve got a bad back.’ The doctor says, ‘It’s old age.’ The woman says, ‘I want a second opinion.’ The doctor says: ‘Okay – you’re ugly as well.’ – Tommy Cooper

22. Spoon, jar, jar jar spoon. – Tommy Cooper

23. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, ‘have you got anything for wind?’ So he gave me a kite. – Tommy Cooper

I hope you enjoyed reading Tommy Cooper Quotes. Let me know your favorite quote in the comments below.

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Nakul Grover

Nakul Grover, author of Superhuman In You and the one who runs this blog. He has been writing on self-improvement since 2014. Featured on various websites, his works have helped thousands of people to live an extraordinary life. He loves spending his leisure hours in reading books and learning new skills.

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